when everything slows down

possessing a creative and active mind, i used to always think creativity would spark the most…spontaneously. it became bursts of chaotic madness, relentless nights and sheer exhaustion versus a regulated wonder, slow, pure and focused.

madness looking like squeezing paint bottles onto canvases, not understanding i hadn’t yet studied the fundamentals of primary colors so how would i finish the painting with an expectation of mastering the art at hand? or starting a new music project at 11 PM at night, already tired from the day knowing it always takes at least two hours just to lay a foundation down–there’s no way i could capture a feeling that is intentional or truly my heart at 1 AM.

i believe a part of me used to merit in that sense of urgency, that by following the spark it might lead to a masterpiece. i’ve come to learn through so many experiences of failure, that masterpieces aren’t conceived in frenzy. i believe my best works have been completed through stillness, breathing before and after the work. being patient and being rested.

there will always be plenty of work to be done, if we remain receptive to it. we won’t ever run out of ideas, if that’s what’s causing us to feel frantic. i think we can put our minds at ease, and call back our innate nature to create.

in the end, when everything slows down, our work is not over, it’s just beginning.

🤎